marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
pray to the hookup gods
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
