Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
