Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
