he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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