she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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