he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
FUCK WHALES
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
