is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
