So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
