i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
love makes seman taste better
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
