first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
