We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
