I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize