Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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