areolas are like halos for boobs.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You are the jesus of drinking
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
