It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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