i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
