Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
