Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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