If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
