I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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