I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize