and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
