I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
