D3 body, D1 cock
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
