The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
