I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
