Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
