They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
