now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
