When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
cat food counts as protein by the way
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
