I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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