Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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