i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
