I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
