I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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