and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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