I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
