Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
