If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
