Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize