I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize