the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize