Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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