Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
