just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
