she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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