so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
