I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
