Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
