There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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