We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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