It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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