I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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