I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize