holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i now understand why vodka
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
