okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
