I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
