Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
