we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize