hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
