Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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