5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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