he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
