I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
