put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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