I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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