i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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