My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
