I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
