So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
