So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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