I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
